Birthday Care Package

We have asked Ann at Red Thread China to send a birthday care package to Hannah on her 3rd birthday, July 14. She'll receive a birthday cake (not pictured), a little panda, candy to share, our letter and pictures of our family, and a camera for the nannies to take pictures. Ann has been very helpful and also provided us with updated measurements of Hannah right away. Hannah is still tracking right along with Gabriel in height, weight, and even foot measurements. They will be little twins indeed. I am so thankful for these little connections with our daughter during the wait. For any other adoptive parents reading this, I would highly recommend Ann at Red Thread if you would like to do something similar. I wish I had done it earlier.

Update on our progress: This week we scrambled to get our I800a and homestudy amended with the specific wording about her special need that is now being required. Being one of the first families through this Hague process has not been fun. No one quite agrees on what is required and it seems to change as we go. It is hard not to "let a root of bitterness spring up" but I am trying to stay in the Word and in prayer and trust that God is in control of all of this. We are hoping this latest paperwork issue is resolved now and that it won't delay our trip. If all proceeds along the average time frames, we should travel in late August or early September.

Lost Passports - Found!

Just had to get Daddy on the blog. We're so happy to have these little books in our hands once again.

New Pics 2

A family from our Gaoming yahoo group just returned from a heritage tour with their daughter. They sent us these wonderful pictures of Hannah. They said she was very happy and interested in everything that was going on. She seems to have a good relationship with her nanny which will be hard on her at first, but good in the long run. I am so amazed at how big she has gotten. We did find out that they are speaking Cantonese at the orphanage. We have been learning Mandarin. Oh well, I guess there is still time to start again. I can't wait to hold her.

New Pics 1

Answered Prayer

This morning I was calling our post office to make an appointment for tomorrow to go start our new passport processing. I decided to call UPS one last time just to see if they had any news on our lost passports, not really expecting anything after being lost for almost 2 weeks. To my utter amazement the computer voice said, "Your package is on its way to you." What? Usually I get transferred to a customer service rep who explains to me that they are investigating... I ran downstairs to my PC and looked up our tracking number on ups.com and it said it had departed California this morning!!!! I fell on my face (literally) in tearful thanksgiving to God. I know He found those passports for us at just the right time.

You may think I'm overreacting about finding the passports, but I have come to see it as a trial that is teaching me more about trusting God's hand in all things. Yesterday was a hard day. The kids were "challenging", I was tired, and we found out we needed to get yet another homestudy addendum because Hannah will turn 3 before we get her and our old homestudy only said 0-3 yrs. People are having issues with that wording in China right now, so we needed to pay another fee, get another paper, etc. etc. With all that we have been going through with the passports, I just prayed and cried myself to sleep at 9:00. I woke up early to pray and read the Bible. I had a peace about the trials. I was actually thanking God for caring enough about me to conform me to the image of Christ. (Not boasting because it is only by His Spirit) I was ready to start the day and start trying to get all those new pieces of paper, new passports, new visas, and pay the new fees. Then God gave me the gracious gift of the news that our passports had been found. Isn't He awesome? He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust. He gives me just what I need when I need it. That verse came back again "He waits to be gracious unto you and He exalts himself to show compassion to you." We still need the addendum and requested it today, but thank the Lord for his providence that we don't have start all over again with passports and visas. He is faithful.

I feel such joy and relief. It's all going to work out. There may be more bumps in the road to get her, and I'm quite sure we'll have several once she gets home. But God is guiding our path, holding our hearts, and He is going to take care of us.

Passports and Visas!

For those of you who have ever gotten a foreign visa, didn't you have a nervous feeling in your gut when you had to send your passports away? What would happen if they got lost? I had that feeling. And now I have the fulfillment of that premonition - our passports with the Chinese visa stamps are lost on their return trip back to us!!!! Can you believe it? I can't. The courier said that he put them in the UPS box but the tracking number never hit the UPS system. What a mess! Now UPS has a trace on it, but with it never hitting their system to begin with, we might be starting all over again. UPS has another week to search for our package before considering it lost. Since we hope to be traveling in late August, we'll have to get expedited passports and visas, of course, at our own expense. Oh yes, and we have to redo all those pieces of previous paperwork that had our old passport numbers on them:-)

I know God called us to adopt Hannah. I love her already and have no doubt that we will hold her in our arms one day. God has a special plan for her. Sometimes, though, I wonder how much more paperwork, fees, bureacracy, etc. I can take. I will press on because Hannah is counting on us, but I am tired. I am encouraged because our dear friends just got their travel dates to pick up their son in China. It gives me tangible evidence that this journey will get us to Hannah eventually. I just need to keep trusting that God has it all worked out. Man, I must need a lot of work in the patience and trust department, huh? "Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

LOA!!!!!!!

We finally got our LOA at 103 days! It took longer than we hoped but we finally have it!!! I am overjoyed that the process is finally moving along again. We have to apply for our I800 (another form from the USCIS) and get our Visas and wait for the LOC (a new step of paperwork required by the Hague) but at least we can press on to climb that next paperwork mountain between us and Hannah.

I was reading this scripture passage from Isaiah 30 this morning: "For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 'In returning and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and trust shall be your strength.' ... Therefore, the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord God is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or to the left." I was struck by the part about Lord waiting to be gracious to me and blessed are those who wait on the Lord. Waiting is a tough tutor, nevertheless, I am thankful for the lessons it is teaching me. I am even more thankful that this part of the wait is over. I hope I will remember these lessons as I continue to wait on Him both now and in the future.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within bless His holy name!

New Pics of Hannah

Just when I was getting pretty depressed with our wait, God sent us a ray of hope. Yesterday we received a nutrition update from Love Without Boundaries that included some new pictures of Hannah. I was glad to see that she is looking well and wearing my favorite color - turquoise. It is hard to know that she is getting bigger and bigger while we wait. However, I am reminded that we are waiting on God. His ways are higher than ours, and his timing is perfect. It is easier to say that than to walk daily in that faith. My weakness is revealed more and more through this process as I somehow fool myself by thinking that I can take better care of Hannah than God. Do I really believe that He is in control? Do I really trust him to care for her? Do I really understand this good work was prepared for me to walk in before I was born? No amount of striving on my part can change what God has planned for Hannah or me. It's not really about me after all, is it? It's about His will being performed. He will accomplish it in His time. He will strengthen my faith and grant me peace.

His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful. He shows me this once again. There is a little boy with Hannah in several of her pictures (not the little one above). He's a bit younger than she is and very cute. My heart has been drawn to him. Many times I have prayed for him and asked God if we should try to adopt him, too. Of course, we are not allowed to adopt more than one child at a time, but we would have to start the process all over after we returned home. I didn't know if this was in God's plan for us or not, but I kept praying that God would send him a family. He did. This week I received an email from a family in the Netherlands who will be adopting him. We are both part of a yahoo group for families who are adopting from the Gaoming orphanage. They were looking for any pictures or information, much like we did as soon as we knew about Hannah. I sent them all that I had and we will keep in touch. Isn't it wonderful when God answers our prayers so clearly? He had a plan for little Ming Hao to live with this family in the Netherlands. I am overjoyed. Thanks be to God for His gracious providence!

100 Good Wishes Quilt

I haven't posted in a while since I was really hoping I could post that we received our LOA. Well, we haven't yet. There is a slowdown because of fears surrounding the H1N1 flu (swine flu). It is discouraging because we thought we were so close. We had even seen others with our LID (Log In Date) receive their LOAs. I guess God has a different timetable in mind for us. Nevertheless, He is good. He shows us His faithfulness and kindness in many ways. One way is through the people He places in our lives. We are immensely blessed with friends and family who love and support us.

Recently, we received an unexpected gift - a 100 Good Wishes Quilt and Scrapbook. My dear friends, Carrie and Melissa, organized this secret effort to gather fabric and good wishes from our friends and family for a quilt and scrapbook for Hannah. The result is a beautiful testimony to their love for us and Hannah. The picture doesn't do it justice. It is a gorgeous tapestry of love. 39 families contributed to the gift. I was overwhelmed. The sentiments in the scrapbook bring tears to my eyes whenever I read them. Many people sent fabric that was dear to them: a favorite shirt, their children's receiving blankets, fabric from their own children's nurseries, clothing made into a quilt square, embroidered scriptures, etc. Carrie made the quilt and Melissa made the scrapbook. Both are precious and will be treasured. The quilt is already on Hannah's bed waiting for her. Come home soon, little one.

Reflections on Adoption

I was praying for Hannah the other day (as I do every day) as I reflected on our adoption in Christ. Going through this adoption process deepens my understanding of God's love for me as my love for Hannah grows. The surface comparison is obvious - God sought me out when I was a stranger; He bought me with a price - a great, very expensive price - the life blood of his own Son; He brought me into his family; He made me a son and an heir, giving me the full rights of his child.
As I journey farther in this adoption, studying things like attachment and bonding and what to expect from this little one who has never had a mother or father, the less obvious similarities are so striking to me that they make me love my heavenly Father all the more - He loved me with a deep longing and affection when I didn't even know His name; He loves me even when I don't understand how to love him back; He consistently clothes, nurtures, cares for me even when I don't recognize the fullness of his provision; He doesn't abandon me when I fight or rage against him, or when I grieve over the past, or when I choose old rags instead of his riches; He just holds me close, lets me wail, and teaches me to rest peacefully once I'm all cried out; As I grow to understand His love more and more, I learn to recognize His voice and follow after Him - when I do, He shows me great and unsearchable things that I didn't know before; He is faithful and I long to be faithful to Him.
How I pray that Hannah will recognize our love for her and in time, long to love us back. I pray that this adoption will help her understand how deep the Father's love is for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He would give his only Son to make a wretch His treasure. May she know it so deeply, because she has experienced a glimpse of it in our family. May all our children experience a deeper love of Christ because of this journey. I am.