I think we just had a little breakthrough with Hannah. We were coming home from our passport and visa photo appointments and she did not want to be in the stroller. My back and arms were killing me and she still didn’t want Eric to hold her. I just stood firm talking gently to her, holding her hand while we strolled, but not letting her out of the stroller. She was pitching a royal fit, kicking, screaming. The Chinese people were all looking at us as though I should give in and let her out. I was questioning myself the whole time. If this were Lauren, Andrew or Gabe, no problem, pitching a fit does not get you your way. However, all the adoption books say not to do this. From some advice from another adoptive parent, I decided to just trust my instincts. We made it back to the room with her still crying. I got her out, held her, but spoke a bit more firmly that she can’t act that way (I know she couldn’t understand my words, but I think she understood the meaning.) We changed her diaper, washed her hands, sat down and calmed down. Eric got out the blocks hoping to engage her. She played with him and spoke her first words since we have had her. She talked and talked. She has been giving us cookies, playing with both of us, smiling and talking a lot. Could we have won a little battle? I pray so. For now, Eric is almost in tears that she is accepting him and playing with him. Praise the Lord.
Last night was a bit better – we got chunks of sleep. She still cannot put herself to sleep. We have to hold her and type on the computer before she falls asleep. For her nap today, Eric built me a pillow throne on the couch and she fell asleep on my lap for 1 ½ hours. She actually falls asleep sitting up, crouching over forward. I don’t know how she breathes. If I move her she wakes. Finally I can push her back on my chest. I have a feeling she slept sitting up in her crib a lot in the orphanage. We may have a long road of sleep issues ahead. In some ways she is like a newborn. We slept many nights with Lauren, Andrew and Gabe on Eric’s chest in the lazyboy when they were infants. We had to do sleep training when they were ready and it didn’t happen overnight. I think I have to think about it this way. No one has ever taught her anything…. How sad. I can’t dwell on it or I’ll get all teary again. A little more on that: she was scared of a butterfly yesterday at the park. She was scared of the koi in the pond at the White Swan Hotel. We can only imagine how she react to our Bailey dog…
Right now she and Eric are wandering out in the halls at her request. Eric has a new friend. We are so happy. We know there may be setbacks, but let’s be thankful for the blessings as they come.
1 comment:
We had problems with Jenna going to sleep also - going to bed seemed to terrify her. We had 2 adult beds in our room. Dan slept in one and I in the other with Jenna. She was, in NO way, going into a crib. I would prop the pillows up and sit in bed with my arm around her, talking to her and Dan. I think the lull of the talking and the warmth of being next to someone helped her to fall asleep. Once she was asleep, I eased my arm out from underneath her and went to sleep myself. I also encouraged her to take her "Ducky" and hug it. This seemed to be a foreign idea to her, but I knew it would help in the long run. Now, Ducky is looking well-loved and has been to the hospital, to grandmas - you get the picture.
When we got home, I slept in her room with her, for about 2 weeks until we felt she was getting used to the house and routine. Then, I introduced the baby monitor to her and we played a game where she would call for me, and I made a big show of running in there. I also made sure to really tire her out those first few days to help her get to sleep quickly. She trusted me to come and it worked for us. Will be praying for rest for everyone. We're dying for pictures, btw!! :0)
Michele
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