Two steps forward, one step back

Eric was just waiting for us to be able to use this title, and it happened today.  Many meltdowns.  Much testing.  We continued to hold her and speak kindly to her.  We are both tired because we are spending all our attention and energy trying to bond and build trust.  It is pretty exhausting.  Eric was telling me tonight that he thinks God is trying to increase our ability to show mercy.  Neither one of us score very high in that area.  This will be quite the school for that.

 

Today we went to the Chen Clan Academy.  It used to be a big house but is now a museum.  We saw (or Eric saw, Tif stayed near Hannah) intricate ivory and wood carvings, detailed embroidery that looked like paintings, old furniture including a bed with porcelain pillows.  It seems like I’d always be in a bad mood if I slept on that bed.  Hannah had a big meltdown while we were there.  I have posted a pic of the beginning of the meltdown but it got worse from there.  Sometimes it is obvious what started the meltdown, but other times we are not sure.  I think, as in all tantrums, it is a control issue, but this time she is not sure she can trust us to relinquish her control.  I am hoping that as we remain consistent and she learns to trust us, these fits will ease.  It is very much like what a younger toddler would do except with the force of a 3 year old.  I was also thinking that toddler tantrums can be partially caused by a lack of ability to communicate which Hannah is also experiencing.  We are trying to teach some baby signs to give her some way of communicating until her English gets better.

 

We are counting the days and moments until we get home.  This is a very long time to be away from our children and our life.  It is not like a relaxing vacation where you can just veg out with a book.  I brought a few books but haven’t even cracked them.  We are playing, talking, holding all the time.  I really need a Star Trek!!  It is not all bad.  Hannah has warmed up so much since the first day.  She is a smart little girl. She really needs to see the model of family life from Lauren, Andrew and Gabriel.  I know that will only help.  May God heal her broken heart even now.